Washing The Past Away

It had been a few days since Remus had been wanted by Hunter for the attack on the student..Remus opened the door to the Leaky Cauldron. He closed the door behind himself and made his way to the bar. He had Pandora's money with him still, in the pouch. He took out a couple of sickles. He ordered himself some firewhisky and some steaks

He took them to a table in the far corner, he go odd looks from the witches and wizards there, but Remus just gulped down the whiskey before tearing into the raw meat without a care..

Remus finished the steaks and moved back onto the whiskey. Remus was deep in thought, thinking things over in his head.

He looked up as he heard the door open. He saw Harriate and gulped slightly, knowing what he did to her, he was ready for her to have it out with him.

Remus looked down quickly and away from her. He looked down at his bottle instead, his body becoming tense "~I~I am sorry for~ the other night~I did warn you....the auror who came.... wants me dead for it.." he muttered under his voice.

".... you can't tell them... they know who you are.. they will lock you up.. and possible kill you.." he said taking his bottle and gulping some more down his throat. "....Pandora likes him though.... even after he wanted me dead...I don;t get it.....I am so confused...so foolish.."

He put his hand on his brow and closed his eyes holding back tears feeling trapped and a shell of a man.

"..I told her I liked her...and I thought she did me.. after our history.. and she was offering to lose her job to save me.... but she said she loved me.. as a friend, like family.. and I think she likes this.. auror after he has ruined my life... feels like I am fighting for nothing..."

"No one loves people like me..." Remus gripped the bottle tighter, trying not to lose his temper "she just met the pig headed bloke...but he is younger, has money and is human... more than I can say for myself.. she broke my heart... he might as well of killed me... at least it would have made me stop feeling this way..." Remus was seriously thinking of going to the Ministry and handing himself in

"Its easy for you to say.. I am older and have been judged all my life..." He looked away from her not wanting to snap at the girl and cause a scene ".. you don't understand.. and you won't know what it is like... you have loved someone and they have you.. I haven't.."

"Don't you dare talk to me like that! not after what you have caused! you should be greatful I didn't let anyone tell the auror what you are!.. I know there are others out there! but I am not a muggle, I can't fit in that world! I could change and kill other or infect them... then the ministy will have to deal with more.. kill more... more death on my hands! is that what you want!.. no.. don;t answer that.. death eaters love to see muggles suffering!"

"Oh just get out" he said sipping his drink, not having any of it as she shouted at him, there was no way Lupin was going to come out of his state of mind when she was shouting at him the way she was.

"Go and join your master.. be a puppet to him.. or his little pet.." he hisses at her just before she left.